Today we want to talk to you about emotional intelligence. We’re all about empowering you to transform yourself to achieve greater things at work, first and foremost. But we’d be remiss not to discuss emotion, emotional intellegence and how it plays a role in your professional life. Because, it is afterall, the combination of intellect and emotion that helps us make the right decisions, choose the right people and handle conflict successfully. 

Some say there is ‘no room for emotion in business,’ but we believe that the workplace is a seething hotbed of emotional intrigue. People might pretend that they don’t care. But, in reality, being given promotion or denied it, being humiliated or praised can illicit very strong emotional responses. How we handle these powerful stimuli may make the difference between success and failure in the workplace. 

Set yourself up for success and follow these 5 steps to begin gaining better emotional intelligence

1. Understand your own emotions

Self-awareness means recognising an emotion as it happens. It seems so simple. But we’ve known a friend who was permanently so serene, even when her somewhat boorish husband would laugh at her or put her down in front of others. We all thought, ‘What a saint!’ Yet years later, she revealed that she was not in touch with her feelings. She was brought up never to be angry. Counselling helped and one day, with a lifetime’s propulsion of pent-up frustration, she left her husband.

2. Manage your emotions

This is emotional self-control. For example, it is the ability to pick yourself up after setbacks and failures to go on to greater things, rather than spending hours being depressed. There are some people who sincerely feel that they must be lacerated by the world’s woes, but the ability to limit that to situations you can do something about is a sign of emotional intelligence. This skill is, of course, intimately tied to our thinking.

3. Motivate yourself

To get up each morning, to move towards the distant goal of a degree or a promotion takes the emotional control of delayed gratification. And with anything in life, there are highlights and draggy bits. Motivation helps us raise our eyes to the horizon and work through the less exciting times for the goal at the end.

4. Recognise emotions in others

Whilst emotional intelligence nears that you need to be self-aware, it all requires you to be sensitive to others. This is often called ’empathy.’ It involves picking up on the subtleties of body language and emotional expression. The boorish husband of our friend had a distinct absence of that ability or he would have been aware of how we felt about him and, goodness knows, might have kept his wife.

5. Handle relationships

This requires handling emotion in others (and yourself) over a long period of time. In the marital relationship, for example, it is so exhilarating to be in love but sustaining it over time is the real test. Popular leaders in business, politics and the services have the ability to inspire devotion and loyalty through superb social skills. They are what Goleman calls ‘social stars’.